I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
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Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
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Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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