Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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