Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
