i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
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She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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