took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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