Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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