i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
