um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Four minutes until I can fart!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you had me at cake vodka
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's shark week go big or go home
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
