I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
