Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left