I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.