are you so shy because you have an std?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
