it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
