Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
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Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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