The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
