just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
