You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
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I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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