well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
