he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
being pregnant is like rehab
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"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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