The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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