am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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