I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
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woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
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I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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