Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.