Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember