Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night

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(301): Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night http://tfl.nu/wbgo

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?

(940): View more from Texas

homeless.

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(717): gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy? (940): homeless. http://tfl.nu/iz6y

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(512): View more from Texas

Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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(512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo

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(303): View more from Colorado

You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

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(303): You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat. (1-303): ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent. http://tfl.nu/2smi

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...

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(412): I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student... http://tfl.nu/ab9h

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(816): View more from Missouri

why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

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(816): why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011 http://tfl.nu/szze

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(703): View more from Virginia

My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday

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(703): My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday http://tfl.nu/7nrp

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(480): View more from Arizona

Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.

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(480): Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America. http://tfl.nu/1n6p

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(847): View more from Illinois

Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.

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(847): Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring. http://tfl.nu/5gh0

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(231): View more from Michigan

Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.

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(231): Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs. http://tfl.nu/oqp6

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.

(847): View more from Illinois

I don't even know what to say right now

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(773): I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away. (847): I don't even know what to say right now http://tfl.nu/f47i

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(347): View more from New York

Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun

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(347): Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun http://tfl.nu/317f

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(678): View more from Georgia

Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.

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(678): Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me. http://tfl.nu/6dhe

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(478): View more from Georgia

How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses

(770): View more from Georgia

We'll talk about it later...

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(478): How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses (770): We'll talk about it later... http://tfl.nu/vxl3

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(816): View more from Missouri

I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

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(816): I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome. http://tfl.nu/4io1

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