You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day