If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy