Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I told you penises don't tan
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.