everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.