My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed