I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.