i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize