so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize