They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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