party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize