Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
OPIZZABONMYDICK
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize