At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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