Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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