So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No subtext here. People are naked.
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just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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