Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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