Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
