So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize