just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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