Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
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i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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