I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
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Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
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So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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