Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?

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  (973): Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night? http://tfl.nu/mwh9
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?

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  (573): Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night? http://tfl.nu/dwv8
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

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  (514): take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcib
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty

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  (918): When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty http://tfl.nu/ybq4
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.

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  (402): She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time. http://tfl.nu/nker
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.

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  (914): I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned. http://tfl.nu/hdoa
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too

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  (603): im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too http://tfl.nu/8x1l
  Replies (27) Good night (6818) Bad night (1297) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.

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  (917): It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all. http://tfl.nu/vnnk
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I drank myself into bisexuality again.

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  (314): I drank myself into bisexuality again. http://tfl.nu/eg45
  Replies (16) Good night (6010) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis

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  (215): This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis http://tfl.nu/mvim
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  (845): View more from New York

  if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

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  (845): if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party http://tfl.nu/vtss
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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  (701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (4423) Bad night (524)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.

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  (734): I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons. http://tfl.nu/bvxd
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  (607): View more from New York

  I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth

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  (607): I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth http://tfl.nu/5ove
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  (510): View more from California

  You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.

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  (510): You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us. http://tfl.nu/8vs9
  Replies (7) Good night (484) Bad night (612)

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