Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
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Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.