i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
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Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
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you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.