i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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