i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
