we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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