you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
They have beer where we have blood.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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