you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
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i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.