i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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