I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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