Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize