hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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