I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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