kristin has been a bad kristin
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
