Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
