I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
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If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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