I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize