why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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