Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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